Love, A Conscious Choice
Love is very important to us. We are looking for that person with whom to share our life, with whom to live incredible experiences and moments.
However, have you ever wondered if that love was a conscious choice? Why do you always end up meeting the same profile of a person that you don’t like?
Perhaps all this has its reason for being in the fact that you do not consciously choose with whom to have a relationship, but that it is others who choose you.
Low self-esteem in love
Low self-esteem and love don’t get along very well. Why? Because many times we don’t start dating someone because we want to, but out of necessity.
The fear of loneliness, of being unable to take responsibility for our lives, the fact of leaving our happiness in the hands of other people causes us not to choose who to go out with, but to choose us.
For this reason, when we ask ourselves why we always end up with people who do not value us, who mistreat us or who, sooner or later, make us suffer, the answer is in us.
We are the ones who always fall into the same networks and this is a conscious choice. Sometimes we are even caught in the clutches of emotional dependence due to low self-esteem that we fail to raise.
Love, then, becomes a lifeline and when it falters, restlessness can arise. However, if you have ever experienced this, you know that you can end up being unhappy and living in unsatisfying relationships. All of this will make your self-esteem look even more depleted.
The mistake of rushing
Being alone is not frowned upon. In fact, if you have ever been without a partner, you will have found yourself observing others who are and wishing you were, one day, in that situation. In addition, we believe that the older we are, the lower the chances of having a partner. That is why we end up rushing, so as not to be alone.
However, all this causes us not to know ourselves, we do not know what we really want from the other person and we end up in disastrous love relationships.
Why are there so many divorces? Why can a person have many partners and yet none of them work? Maybe because he can’t wait.
That pressure from society where family and friends always ask us “don’t you have a partner yet?” It does not help us at all not to rush into choosing that person we are not entirely sure of. It seems that having a partner is everything. Without this, we consider ourselves failures. It doesn’t matter if we are not the perfect couple. We settle for being with someone.
Your own life project
What happens when we immerse ourselves in a relationship? Suddenly, we can stop thinking about friends, put what we were passionate about aside and start focusing too much on the other person. Without realizing it, we end up not being ourselves.
This happens when we are so concerned about finding a partner that we do not choose consciously; we let others do it and we give ourselves body and soul to the relationship.
However, we forget that a relationship is not based on sharing the same path, but that each of the members walks along different paths but that they go in the same direction.
However, putting our identity aside will cost us dearly in the future. Our self-esteem will feel trampled on and we will invest time and energy in a relationship that is doomed to fail.
Choose your partners consciously. Find out what you want and what your insurmountable limits are. Doing this will prevent you from undermining your self-esteem and being unhappy.
Do not rush. You don’t have to have a partner. Cultivate yourself, take care of yourself and don’t expect anyone to do it for you. Love yourself before loving another person and, only by doing this, when the time comes, you will know for sure who you want to have by your side.
