When Friendships Expire, When Love Fades

When friendships expire and love dies down, something in us dies.

No one is prepared for the loss or detachment of a bond that, until not long ago, was significant to us.

Our brain is genetically programmed to connect with people. This is how we survive, how we learn, and how we advance throughout our life cycle.

However, while our brain clings to the permanent, we forget something very essential: that life flows, that things change and that, sometimes, it is necessary to transform ourselves.

Ending a friendship relationship that has been basic for us plunges us into a time of bewilderment and sadness.

Because a friendship is something intimate, something that edifies us, brings us joys and emotional support. However, sometimes, the unforeseen events of life or starting new interests make, little by little, certain friendships cool down or expire.

The same goes for emotional relationships. There may be a betrayal or a disappointment. Or it may happen that, no matter how much it hurts, love fades in one of the two members without us knowing very well how.

Taking a step forward is mandatory in these cases. Although it is difficult for us, although the puzzle of our life is defragmented and broken.

We explain how to do it.

When a friendship expires

It may seem curious, but friendship has a different meaning for men and women. This difference does not mean that for one gender it is more important than for the other.

• It has to do with your involvement. For example, according to a study carried out at University College London (United Kingdom), friendship has a calming effect for women.
• Friendship with other women serves as an outlet for women. They use it as a way of relativizing problems, stress, anxiety. The bond has an intimacy that transcends the emotional world.
• For their part, men see friendship as something more instrumental. Carry out activities together, project leisure plans, start professional goals …
• In the case of men, they value the family or the partner themselves more to vent, to find intimacy and a deeper closeness.

Perhaps for this reason, the personal impact in the case of women when losing a friendship is usually, on average, more intense.

How to cope with the end of a friendship

One friendship is not substituted for another: it lets go. This is something we must understand. Stop interacting with someone implies knowing how to turn the page and move forward.

• Each person, each friendship and each bond offers us certain things. Therefore, we should not look to a friend for what another offered us. Let everyone be as they wish and act authentically.
• It assumes that there are links that expire and that this is not a bad thing.
• People grow, we have other interests and, sometimes, we even decide that there are friends who no longer offer us positive things, but quite the opposite.

Sometimes leaving a friendship is also growing up. The important thing is to stay with the people who really matter.

When love goes out

When love is turned off those invisible bones that hold your soul break, that lung that gave you air and those wings that made you feel alive.

• Nobody knows why or how, but it happens. Love fades at times like dew in the noonday sun.
• When this happens we cling to hope. “It is possible that if I do or say this he will come back with me”, “maybe, if I change my way of being, he will love me again. .. “
• It is not the appropriate thing, this type of behavior what they achieve is to intensify that cycle of negativity, false hopes and pain.

If love ends, we must make it clear or we must demand that they make it clear to us. That is the end, but also the starting point.

How to face the end of a love

The end of an emotional relationship is not overcome from one day to the next. It takes between 6 months and two years. While there are many individual differences, there are also a number of strategies that can help us when love dies down.

• Act with dignity: if you know that you are not loved, assume, accept and start the duel.
• Looking ahead is not easy when we have left so much behind.

However, before feeding on nostalgia or conditional language (maybe, if I were, if I did, maybe I could …), we must speak in the present tense:

• I deserve to care for myself, take care of myself, and rebuild my broken pieces.
• I’m going to lean on my family, my friends. In this present in which I must set new goals to build a new happiness.

Time and our attitude will heal those wounds, and life, with its rumors and its beauties, will once again fill that void in your heart.