7 Effects Of Having A Narcissistic Mother
Although sometimes you may not realize it, the way you have been raised greatly influences your personality and your self-esteem in the future. This time we will talk about the consequences of having a narcissistic mother.
If you have had a mother with these characteristics, it is important that you know the possible effects and act to avoid emotional problems.
What is a narcissistic mother?
Parents are an authority figure. At the same time they act as a model and as a first contact with society. However, not all of them are the best example, and some can even create severe problems in your life.
Before talking about the outcome of spending childhood with a narcissistic mother, it is important to understand what this concept implies. The first thing you should take into account is that narcissistic people love themselves to great excess .
Therefore, it is possible that they require too much attention from their loved ones and few things will be satisfactory.
Although this level of demand can lead to them and their children To obtain excellent results in your life, the emotional drain will be just as severe.
Therapist Karyl McBride, in her book Will I Ever Be Good Enough ?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers , collects some of the characteristics that the sons and daughters of narcissistic mothers present. Next, we will talk about the main ones.
1. Children of narcissistic mothers often forget their needs and desires
A narcissistic person is always in need of attention, is often arrogant, and likes to manipulate others because he feels that he deserves the best.
Moving this into the family context, one of the effects of having a narcissistic mother is that her children grow up with the need to please her.
In this process, children do not perceive themselves as individuals with their own wants and needs . They have generally become a reflection of what their mother wants and do all the activities expected of them.
By obtaining the achievements and by achieving the goals set, their mother rewarded them and they learned to constantly seek that affection. Therefore, when they grow up, they are not aware of their space and seek to satisfy others before themselves.
2. You have low self-esteem
Another effect of having a narcissistic mother is that children only receive affection when she wants something from them. The problem is that these mothers are so demanding that it is difficult to meet all their expectations.
As a result, the mother will give signals or messages to her child that he is not good enough . This results in children who always feel incompetent, unskilled, anxious and with low selfsteem .
3. It’s hard for you to love the person you are
Feeling that they are not good enough makes children of narcissistic mothers have trouble loving and accepting who they are.
It is normal to find things that you do not like and would like to change. However, a person with stable parents grows with the skills to find positive aspects in himself.
One of the effects of having a narcissistic mother is that the children of these women will have trouble finding something that they feel comfortable with in themselves . Even if they hit big goals or accomplish everything they set out to do, it will never be enough for them.
4. You feel more like a companion than a son
Due to the great amount of attention that this type of parents demand, the lives of their children revolve around them, their problems, their needs and their happiness .
For this reason, children become an emotional support and get involved in situations in which they should not participate. These children take on so many responsibilities that they forget that they are children until they become more of an emotional partner.
People who had these kinds of parents feel like they spent their entire lives solving problems .
Although this can be positive because they have surely learned to solve problems and be self-reliant, they will feel a great burden and it will be difficult to trust others.
5. You talk negatively to yourself all the time
Having a narcissistic mother translates into constant negative messages. Because of this, children learn to speak to themselves with criticism and hurtful words.
It gives a mirror effect. They learn to see life as their mother did and c Since they received negative messages, they talk to themselves in the same way .
6. You learn to hide your true essence
Another effect of having a narcissistic mother is that these children they learn to deny part of their essence to show what their mother expects of them . Over time, this process of refusing or hiding becomes common.
As adults, they may have trouble identifying who they are, what their real desires are, and what they really expect from life and from others.
7. You self-sabotage
Having a narcissistic mother means that you always get the message that you are not just being good enough. This prepares children to expect the worst of any situation.
Growing up, avoid compromising their emotions to stay as safe as possible . For example, they will avoid falling in love so as not to be abandoned. Of course, this generates a vicious cycle that leads to more anxiety and insecurity.
What to do if you have a narcissistic mother?
A relationship of this type can cause intangible damage on a mental level, but with great impact on your life.
If you live or have lived with a narcissistic mother, you should seek help or advice so that you can deal with the messages learned and achieve a more satisfying life .
