Things Will Affect Me As Much As I Allow Them To Affect Me

We are all more or less permeable and there will be those who are affected more by some things than others. However, something that we must be clear about is that it will always be appropriate to have good emotional barriers.

In our day-to-day relationships, each of us should be able to apply that famous expression of “being and letting be. ” However, what we find many times is just the opposite version: “I am and I will not let you be.”

The criticisms, the hidden lies, the sibylline selfishness, the false kindnesses, the people who love to argue, those who see problems when there is only harmony … These are small examples of those disrespectful arts that can cloud our inner balance.

Now, far from intensifying this negative feeling further by sticking to them, we must be able to keep a cool mind. If we allow them to affect us to the point of changing our mood, our way of relating to ourselves and even seeing life, we will be losing many things.

Getting excited is contagious, that’s why it is necessary to open the umbrella

We were talking at the beginning of permeability. This phenomenon in which we suddenly end up receiving a certain emotional charge from others that completely changes our state of mind. It is a fact as common as it is dangerous.

Daniel Goleman himself spoke about it in his book Social Intelligence . Almost no one is immune to those contexts where we make life every day.

• The behavior of some impacts in a certain way on others, for better or for worse. However, this emotional “virus”, far from stopping, continues to reach more people.

To understand it, we will give you an example. You have the classic companion who is always looking to create a grudge. Their constant criticism, their negativism and their lack of respect impacts on you, generating a bad mood. In turn, that bad mood also comes home with you  and infects your family through your apathy and discomfort.

It is not at all that things do not affect you. Something like that is impossible. The human being is purely emotional; We are not rocky minds devoid of emotions and feelings. So it’s more about changing the pole of that negative energy. You have to find balance, open the emotional umbrella and remember that, if something affects you too much, you lose quality of life.

Relativize, protect yourself.

Enter a palace of personal calm

Believe it or not, there, in a corner of the brain, you have a palace of calm. It is bigger inside than outside, and it becomes a magnificent refuge where you can relativize, where you can find harmony.

• Let the talker speak.

• Allow the critic to poison himself with his own poison.
• Let the messy get lost in their own chaos.
• Stay away from the one who brings you bitterness by reminding you how bad everything is going.
• Seek calm when that someone uses you as a target for their criticism because they have nothing else to do.

This palace of calm is not a hideaway. It is a place to remember, above all else, WHO YOU ARE. The criticisms or offenses do not matter, they are only ambient noise. Because when you are very clear about who you are and what you are worth, what others say does not matter.

Opening the umbrella helps to avoid passivity

Opening emotional umbrellas to prevent certain things from affecting us does not imply being passive. It does not mean that we should carry out “non-resistance” to allow ourselves to be manipulated or besieged.

• Maintaining your inner balance is a way not to intensify certain situations in which it is not worth wasting your time.
• An example of this would be discussions. Many times it is impossible for us even to dialogue with someone because they do not understand what it is to communicate without shouting or even to dialogue without always seeking to be right.

• There are battles in which it is better not to get lost. Because, sometimes, to overcome ignorance you have to catch up with it and there, we lose everything.

The best thing is to know how to keep a cool mind. However, whenever we feel violated, it is necessary to react and set limits instantly. If you don’t, the others will continue to gain more ground and advance their siege.

At this point we must remember that speaking with assertiveness and firmness does not imply attacking the other, but rather defending our rights with respect, but setting healthy limits.

You must always respect, even when it is not easy

Coexistence is not always easy. However, whoever chooses to see life with the crystals of respect, harmony and dignity, always avoid giving importance to certain aspects.

After all, people say and do things, and you choose whether they affect you or not. Therefore, keep your self-esteem and your dignity ahead and remember that you have the power to prevent those comments from affecting you.