8 Habits That Improve Your Self-esteem

Valuing yourself, loving yourself and prioritizing yourself are fundamental aspects to feel good, although most of the time they tend to be relegated to the background. Self-esteem is key to achieving well-being, but the problem is that this is often forgotten.

Only when a person treats himself with respect and loves himself, is he able to express his full potential and create healthy relationships with others. Hence, knowing and valuing oneself is one of the keys to achieving happiness and connecting with others. Let’s see how to do it below.

Silencing the inner critic to save self-esteem

We all have a voice on the inside that is dedicated to judging everything we do: the inner critic. In some it will be muted, in others its tone of voice will barely be distinguished and in others its volume will be so high that it will be almost impossible to distinguish other voices. When the latter occurs, self-esteem is usually on the ground.

The inner critic makes us doubt and mistrust our abilities. We will never do anything right, not even when we have put all our effort into it; nothing is enough for him. He always wants more.

Hence, it has great consequences on emotional health. It is important to learn to identify when it speaks to us in order to lower its volume and stop believing it. Because although his intention is to protect us, he does not know that communicating through fear and threat is not the right way.

• To banish this character, the first thing to keep in mind is that a lot of willpower is needed, since the internal critic has grown with each person and it will sometimes be difficult to recognize it.
• Once identified, the next step is to question it; that is, to doubt what he says, but with love and respect. The important thing is that you perceive that there is a world of possibilities beyond your rigidity.
• In this way, you will learn that criticism is not the way, but kindness.

Stop waiting for approval from others

All people like to know that the environment values ​​them and approves of what they do or undertake. However, as stated in a publication of the journal Actualidades investigativas en Educación of the University of Costa Rica (2007), the problem occurs when it is needed to advance, when it depends on the responses of others to act and they forget their own needs.

Waiting for others to express their agreement to choose what to do only generates frustration. In addition, little by little self-esteem decreases and distances the individual from his essence because he puts aside his own priorities to meet the expectations of others. 

Some fundamental keys to manage this need for approval are the following:

• Be ourselves.
• Say what we think.
• Value and please us from time to time.
• Knowing that whatever we do, at some point we will let someone down.

Do exercise

A medical publication from Merck Manuals states that exercising regularly leads to increased self-esteem and improved mood. This is also accompanied by a higher state of health and even changes in the appearance of the person that favor the perception of himself.

This happens in part because endorphins are released during exercise, substances that are released in the body and that produce a feeling of well-being, in addition to reducing pain.

Although at first practicing sport does not require a great effort, both physically and mentally, the truth is that with the passage of time not only does the mood improve, but it also helps to gain more motivation.

Accept

Accepting yourself is the first step to start loving yourself, the springboard to well-being. The aforementioned specialized publication affirms that self-acceptance is linked to feelings of worth and approval towards oneself.

Also, if acceptance is not practiced, it will be impossible to change what a person dislikes. In fact, most emotional problems and conflicts stem from a lack of self-acceptance.

Now, how do you get it? The challenge is to stop rejecting everything that we don’t like about ourselves; otherwise, we will only be strengthening it. For example, if we continually reject sadness, it will permeate our entire reality and it will become stronger day by day.

However, if we accept that sadness, we will see how it fades. It is as if, by accepting it, it loses all its strength and chooses to leave. In addition, experiencing it also helps us to know ourselves and learn to manage it when it appears. Because only when we accept do we also have the option to transform.

Create positive bonds to strengthen self-esteem

As also described in the study cited above, positive relationships are a great foothold. Knowing that there are people who appreciate us, listen to us and are willing to help us whenever we need it is priceless. In addition, thanks to them we can gain security and confidence.

On the other hand, sharing time with positive people will help us to vent emotionally and reduce stress levels. This way, it will be much easier for us to feel better.

List and value your own qualities

In what aspects do we stand out? What activities do we do with relative ease and are we passionate about? We all have qualities and abilities that we are good at. The question is to discover them to develop all the inner potential and increase self-esteem.

To start doing it, an alternative is to make a list of all the qualities and abilities, of those personal aspects that make each one stand out. Perhaps at first it may be complicated, especially if one is used to criticizing oneself and demanding more than the account.

To unblock thinking, it can be helpful to ask a close friend or family member for help. Sure, after talking with them, we will be able to identify what are those qualities that make us unique.

Once we have the list made, we can read it every morning and even modify it if we consider it so. The important thing is not to limit yourself: any quality is important.

Be flexible, avoid perfectionism

Perfection is not always perfect. In many cases, it carries many more obstacles than advantages for physical and emotional health. Constantly demanding that we do everything right, in addition to frustrating us, generates a certain feeling of dissatisfaction. Stiffness is not usually a good companion.

Thus, the key to increasing self-esteem is not in reaching perfection, but in learning from mistakes and tolerating flaws. If there is something that we must be clear about, it is that it is impossible for us not to make mistakes.

The best option is to learn to be flexible, since this gives us freedom to choose and act, to know other points of view and, of course, to reach a state of calm and tranquility.

Now, this does not mean that we do not try to improve in certain aspects, but that we are aware of when to stop, rather than obsessing over the idea that something can always be done better.

Loving yourself to boost self-esteem

In short, there are many habits that can help us increase self-esteem. All we need is willpower and a lot of motivation.

Although learning to love yourself takes time, it will always be worth it. Valuing ourselves is one of the most beautiful actions we can do; As we said, this can be the springboard that drives us to achieve well-being.